Last night, I was sore. Really sore. Really tired. I figured I should have a rest day. I can't go to Crossfit tonight, and my morning workout partner, Mean Pauline, did her pinky toe bad again. My upper body is sore from "Angie" and the shoulder work in the am and CF pm workouts. Still, I woke up this morning and felt antsy. I thought about yoga, a good long stretchy session with lots of sun salutations and warriors. Then, I thought about legs, so I popped in a tape--Cathe F.'s Workout 14 STS (a new mesocycle for me) with 70% of my max and 10 reps per set. The workout starts with a tri-cycle: squats, Romanian lunges, and sumo stiff-legged deadlifts. I did one cycle light: 95 lb squat, 30 lb. lunge on a 12 inch step, and 95 pound sumo deadlift (not straight legged). Annoyed, I took put all my crap away and loaded up the squat bar: 115 (too easy), 135 (cranked out 8, thought "I'll go up."), 155 x 5, 165 x 5, 175 x 3, 185 x 2, and then (with no spot), stopped at 190 x 2. Did it again, just to be sure...last one sticky, but still strong.
Measured myself, too. I feel lean, but I have such a poor idea of what I actually look like...everything core-wise has gone down an inch (in the hips, the waist, and, of course, the chest). Felt strong today, felt really strong. I had even considered doing a turbofire for kicks (no pun intended), but nah, I love the strength. It's really fun, and I want to see what my max might be. I would guess right now, probably 200, without a lot of training toward that end.
Fun stuff. Nice to see results, even if it is only one's I can really appreciate.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Tomorrow is my 2 week anniversary with CFMD
It's been about 4 weeks since I started paleo and about 3 weeks since I walked in the door of Crossfit Milk District and plopped down a month's membership to get started. My first class was 2 weeks ago on 11/21 and I've been pretty steady since then, doing about 4-5 workouts a week (along with my ones at home). I'm loving it. There are a lot of things I'm noticing:
1) I'm definitely leaner and stronger;
2) I'm learning better form and technique, leaning new things and improving and fixing old, unneeded habits (and the technical stuff that Coach Joe goes over and over and readdresses is just what I need!);
3) I'm less twingy, injured, and unmotivated, as well as sore in the "wrong" way;
4) CF philosophy is really amazing. The way CF people vary in backgrounds and age, not to mention the way they interact and embrace their workout, applies (sort of like yogis feel about their yoga practice) to just about everything in life. It's not competitive, but more about bringing your authentic self in (sometimes you have to figure out along the way who that is). It is positive and life-affirming. How it differs from my yoga friends is that I'm not trying to empty out, but really FILL UP.
I FILL UP on the stuff that makes me happy and feel good about myself without discussion, without silence, without solitude, without sensory deprivation. Some workouts are harder mentally to do this with, but others are birth, life, death, and rebirth--miraculous. I mean, truly, miraculous.
I'm just eating it up. Every workout I am nervously, timidly, excitedly participatory, assessing, enjoying, and celebrating. It's amazing!!!
1) I'm definitely leaner and stronger;
2) I'm learning better form and technique, leaning new things and improving and fixing old, unneeded habits (and the technical stuff that Coach Joe goes over and over and readdresses is just what I need!);
3) I'm less twingy, injured, and unmotivated, as well as sore in the "wrong" way;
4) CF philosophy is really amazing. The way CF people vary in backgrounds and age, not to mention the way they interact and embrace their workout, applies (sort of like yogis feel about their yoga practice) to just about everything in life. It's not competitive, but more about bringing your authentic self in (sometimes you have to figure out along the way who that is). It is positive and life-affirming. How it differs from my yoga friends is that I'm not trying to empty out, but really FILL UP.
I FILL UP on the stuff that makes me happy and feel good about myself without discussion, without silence, without solitude, without sensory deprivation. Some workouts are harder mentally to do this with, but others are birth, life, death, and rebirth--miraculous. I mean, truly, miraculous.
I'm just eating it up. Every workout I am nervously, timidly, excitedly participatory, assessing, enjoying, and celebrating. It's amazing!!!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Walking Handstands!
Today, at crossfit, we did some mobility stuff for the shoulder, a little dynamic warm-up, and then 5x5 pullups, followed by handstand walks. This is the first time we measured how far I can walk, since I only do it when I'm screwing around mostly. I walked 21 feet, and that is good enough for me pre-workout.
The workout was 2 rounds for a min. each of thrusters, chest-to-bar pullups, and double unders, followed by one min. of rest (7 min.). I started out too heavy with the thrusters (at 95). Went down to 65 or 70 (I don't know because Coach Joe moved me to a doable weight after I cleaned the 95 twice, but couldn't thrust it. LOL. In my head, I was! All I can say is that it is a kickbutt workout and something different every day.
The best feeling is the post-workout chalk prints on my clothes and the hand-callousy feeling of hard work. Those things coupled with wobbly arms and legs makes it all the more better. It's the feeling of being alive again. Oh, yeah, and the walking handstands :)!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Now, two weeks later, I'm enjoying a big ass plate of chili over half a sweet potato. My chili is all grassfed beef, peppers, onions, and tomatoes. It's delicious! Below is a picture of me a week ago. Paleo making a difference? I should say so!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Ch-ch-changes
I am absolutely thrilled not to count my calories or look at my Fitbit. I habitually check my waistband throughout the day to see where I am, and when I have to do excessive walking, my mind is set on how many steps this will add...and here I am a week later saying, "Screw it." It could all go terribly wrong and I may way 25 pounds more in 3 months.
Nonetheless, I had a tremendous workout this morning, polishing off some heavy weights on my 21s with the bar (60 lbs) and 40 pound rows for reps, along with a good 15-min. cardio Hiit. I've planned some good meals for me (and the masses). And I will do my first official crossfit workout tomorrow with tonight being Lyra class! My mood is improved and my slump is gone! Change is doing me good spiritually, and I'm looking forward to a week break from school to do 2-a-days with the CF Milk District being my one-stop shopping!
Nonetheless, I had a tremendous workout this morning, polishing off some heavy weights on my 21s with the bar (60 lbs) and 40 pound rows for reps, along with a good 15-min. cardio Hiit. I've planned some good meals for me (and the masses). And I will do my first official crossfit workout tomorrow with tonight being Lyra class! My mood is improved and my slump is gone! Change is doing me good spiritually, and I'm looking forward to a week break from school to do 2-a-days with the CF Milk District being my one-stop shopping!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Stress! Why aesthetic goals are bankrupt?
Woke up this morning feeling blue...or rather, still feeling blue. I freaking hate work. HATE it. I only like it when I am around happy teachers or learning students, which are so few and far between in my day that it makes me depressed and angry. Any time I come up for air, some one hits someone, an administrator tells us another thing we have to do to be evaluated on, or another student becomes homeless, helpless, hurt, or sick. My workouts are my therapy. My coworker suggested anti-depressants, and honestly, I considered it, even talked with my new doctor about the stress I've been under. So, enough chitter-chatter. Can't change anything but the fact I have a bad feeling about work. I ask myself: what can I do to change that? Can't control any of the other factors, but I can change the stress I'm causing myself...and that got me thinking about what causes me stress (besides work).
The scale keeps going up (my cortisol levels are high). Now cortisol is a good thing for humans because it helps us with fight or flight, which is necessary, but too high and you gain weight and cannibalize muscle. This is not helping me progress in my workouts. Never mind that, the scale keeps going up. This is causing me stress...I know I'm doing the right things, but...but...but
I picked up Paleo Coach, by Jason Seib. Flipped to the section on body image and people (mainly, women, I would think). What is the motivation to start a new program or come to a gym (his, Jason's)? He states: "When it comes to goals and motivations, everyone who walks into my gym can be placed in one of two groups. The vast majority hate their bodies, or at least some part of it, and are desperate to change themselves and find some relief from the torment of their own disapproval." Well, yeah, that's kind of me, hard to say, but true. He adds: "...If those people do not have a radical shift in self-perception they tend to further divide into two subgroups: those who never fully reach their goals but convince themselves that halfway is good enough, and those who are just passing through and will be leaving the gym soon."
This is not trivial, empty observation on his part. We all need to think about why we workout...I do it for mental reasons (not working, apparently), aesthetic reasons (who knows if it's working or not, if I am engaging in negative talk to myself or expecting perfection or a body look that I cannot achieve), or health (we all know it should be for health, but I push it through injuries sometimes, also). Today, I realized that I am caught up in the aesthetic results...I measure, I count, I chide myself, I push myself, I log in and out, I plan, and I do workout, but I am not having fun, seeing results, feeling better (although my mood does improve) and more organized.
I do feel strong though. I feel really, really strong. Cardio makes me feel tired. Weights make me feel strong and good. The harder it is and the heavier the weight, the better the workout. Don't get me wrong...I love cardio (but only when it shuts off my monkey brain...and it hasn't been doing that lately). I feel wonderful when I pull myself up on a lyra, or I can drop squat to my knees and get back up at dance, or I can do pull-ups with the kids both at home and at school, or I can lift something for someone, who says, "Wait! Let me go get so-and-so (usually a man)." I don't mean egotistically good. It feels physically good to move and do something. It is fun and life-giving.
This all gets me back to stress...that kind of stress is a good stress (it's what cortisol is for). I don't need less sleep, more errands, more worry, more stuff, more thinking about what workout program will work for me and how to combine it so that it will work for my current level of fitness...I need LESS. I need quality. I get this when it comes to nutrition (perhaps that's why I picked up one of the 15 books on Paleo that I own). I collect nutrition and workout books and magazines, even stupid ones. I love to read and think, but I also love to do. Reading doesn't stress me out, but getting the right combination does.
I think what is paramount in this conversation with myself is a change of perspective and obtaining more information (learning how to change that perspective or being open to change). After all, what radically transformed my body three plus years ago was, indeed, just that: radical change in perspective. One day, an ex-friend said to me that I should be a teacher and a mother and stop acting like a teen (or something to that effect). That pissed me off because every nasty remark to hurt someone has a little truth to it or it wouldn't bother you--it'd just bounce off of you, unlike sticks and stones. I stopped drinking, eating crap, and exercised every day after school. I didn't blog, or talk about what I did, I just did it, and suddenly I had lost 15 lbs. in a month. Then, I started waking up early and working out, too. I started dancing more outside of dance class. I started working out more than just at home. I started eating food that fueled me, not numbed or appeased me. And my habits started to change and my attitude started to change and the weight started falling off of me. I radically changed because I didn't like the way I felt from that stupid little comment. And though, this friend is no longer a friend, I started looking at her in a different way. She was one of the main reasons I became healthier. And though I can't go back, I can shift gears, or better yet, get out of car and walk the rest of the way, but not out of anger, and not completely relinquishing already well-established good ideals and habits.
Instead, it's time to set new goals (thanks to my husband who said don't worry about the scale). So, I'm working on this new perspective. This doesn't mean there won't be plenty of stresses because I have them in my life...it doesn't mean that weighty shit doesn't happen to me that makes worrying about workouts trivial and bane...it doesn't mean that I don't think about what is the most important things in my life or that I'm not grateful for them every day (because I am). What is means that without my health (spiritually, mentally, and physically), I can't do anything. I can't enjoy those blessings or be strong and feel good. Health is everything. My food and my workouts fuel my health. This is what I need to be reminded of...not just lip service either. Earthmother2 out.
The scale keeps going up (my cortisol levels are high). Now cortisol is a good thing for humans because it helps us with fight or flight, which is necessary, but too high and you gain weight and cannibalize muscle. This is not helping me progress in my workouts. Never mind that, the scale keeps going up. This is causing me stress...I know I'm doing the right things, but...but...but
I picked up Paleo Coach, by Jason Seib. Flipped to the section on body image and people (mainly, women, I would think). What is the motivation to start a new program or come to a gym (his, Jason's)? He states: "When it comes to goals and motivations, everyone who walks into my gym can be placed in one of two groups. The vast majority hate their bodies, or at least some part of it, and are desperate to change themselves and find some relief from the torment of their own disapproval." Well, yeah, that's kind of me, hard to say, but true. He adds: "...If those people do not have a radical shift in self-perception they tend to further divide into two subgroups: those who never fully reach their goals but convince themselves that halfway is good enough, and those who are just passing through and will be leaving the gym soon."
This is not trivial, empty observation on his part. We all need to think about why we workout...I do it for mental reasons (not working, apparently), aesthetic reasons (who knows if it's working or not, if I am engaging in negative talk to myself or expecting perfection or a body look that I cannot achieve), or health (we all know it should be for health, but I push it through injuries sometimes, also). Today, I realized that I am caught up in the aesthetic results...I measure, I count, I chide myself, I push myself, I log in and out, I plan, and I do workout, but I am not having fun, seeing results, feeling better (although my mood does improve) and more organized.
I do feel strong though. I feel really, really strong. Cardio makes me feel tired. Weights make me feel strong and good. The harder it is and the heavier the weight, the better the workout. Don't get me wrong...I love cardio (but only when it shuts off my monkey brain...and it hasn't been doing that lately). I feel wonderful when I pull myself up on a lyra, or I can drop squat to my knees and get back up at dance, or I can do pull-ups with the kids both at home and at school, or I can lift something for someone, who says, "Wait! Let me go get so-and-so (usually a man)." I don't mean egotistically good. It feels physically good to move and do something. It is fun and life-giving.
This all gets me back to stress...that kind of stress is a good stress (it's what cortisol is for). I don't need less sleep, more errands, more worry, more stuff, more thinking about what workout program will work for me and how to combine it so that it will work for my current level of fitness...I need LESS. I need quality. I get this when it comes to nutrition (perhaps that's why I picked up one of the 15 books on Paleo that I own). I collect nutrition and workout books and magazines, even stupid ones. I love to read and think, but I also love to do. Reading doesn't stress me out, but getting the right combination does.
I think what is paramount in this conversation with myself is a change of perspective and obtaining more information (learning how to change that perspective or being open to change). After all, what radically transformed my body three plus years ago was, indeed, just that: radical change in perspective. One day, an ex-friend said to me that I should be a teacher and a mother and stop acting like a teen (or something to that effect). That pissed me off because every nasty remark to hurt someone has a little truth to it or it wouldn't bother you--it'd just bounce off of you, unlike sticks and stones. I stopped drinking, eating crap, and exercised every day after school. I didn't blog, or talk about what I did, I just did it, and suddenly I had lost 15 lbs. in a month. Then, I started waking up early and working out, too. I started dancing more outside of dance class. I started working out more than just at home. I started eating food that fueled me, not numbed or appeased me. And my habits started to change and my attitude started to change and the weight started falling off of me. I radically changed because I didn't like the way I felt from that stupid little comment. And though, this friend is no longer a friend, I started looking at her in a different way. She was one of the main reasons I became healthier. And though I can't go back, I can shift gears, or better yet, get out of car and walk the rest of the way, but not out of anger, and not completely relinquishing already well-established good ideals and habits.
Instead, it's time to set new goals (thanks to my husband who said don't worry about the scale). So, I'm working on this new perspective. This doesn't mean there won't be plenty of stresses because I have them in my life...it doesn't mean that weighty shit doesn't happen to me that makes worrying about workouts trivial and bane...it doesn't mean that I don't think about what is the most important things in my life or that I'm not grateful for them every day (because I am). What is means that without my health (spiritually, mentally, and physically), I can't do anything. I can't enjoy those blessings or be strong and feel good. Health is everything. My food and my workouts fuel my health. This is what I need to be reminded of...not just lip service either. Earthmother2 out.
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