"The workouts are always miserable but they push you to that dark place that you don’t want to go to—amongst a community that is so supportive.”
This from a 4th grade social studies teacher, an amazing athlete, one of many who continually motivate me to rise above my every day shortcomings and misgivings. Carpe diem.
I'm not going to lie. The big C keeps coming and coming. It robs my family of our strength and attention and our time. It's hard to live in the present when you are worried about the future or, even worse, you are in pain, emotionally and/or physically. And then while you are out energizing yourself with Nature, music, physical exertion, whatever, you meet souls so fractured, you think how lucky you are to be equipped with good self-coping mechanisms and the love of family and community.
No one wants to go to a dark place, me least of all. You see people in that dark place. You hear people in that dark place. You feel--oh, I hate feeling this--that dark place. Words cannot help enough, seem pointless, irrelevant, stupid, or inept. That dark place between life and death that seems to come more and more in this society, whether self-induced or real.
No matter what. It's necessary. Painfully necessary. I literally visit a dark place every day...it is a decision that I make whether I push past that point of no return and give up, or I say, "Hey, there's hope."
I think that's why I love CF so much and I am enthusiastically looking forward to participating in the Open. Not because I'm going to win or kick ass or lose weight or break records. And I don't care if anyone gets it. I'm going to my dark place. Sweat are the words that the body and soul and heart expresses, inglorious and commonplace as they are in my world. And that's good enough for me. So, let the games begin.
No comments:
Post a Comment